Fear

The phone rang early at 5:07 am on Sunday morning. Startled I reached for the phone. Robert was on the line to inform me that another earthquake struck in Northern Haiti. I heard the journalist blaring in Kreyol on the radio in the background…one building collapsed killing numerous people.

The fear swelled in Robert’s voice. My mind went racing through all the things to tell him. First, as always, I told him how much I love him. Then, knowing our phone connection would be brief we discussed strategies for survival in an earthquake and the importance of establishing a plan to meet up with Chi Chi. The line faded and once again, like so many times in our relationship over the past 13 years, I felt helpless.

I was lying on my comfortable bed snuggled in under a mound of warm blankets with the protection of a roof and walls surrounding me. I could feel the pitter patter of my heart as I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe and held an image of my beloved Robert with protective light surrounding him. The comfort of the light allowed me to fall back asleep until 7:03 am.

I drug myself out of bed, sleepy eyed with blonde hairs standing up everywhere on my head, to donn the cozy slippers Robert bought me for Christmas and slip on a sweatshirt. I moved within the comforts of our blessed abode to search for news on the internet. Prior to the earthquake, I would have been skeptical to find anything, but now little Haiti will receive press if the news is deemed to have a human interest component.

I discovered that there was a 4.8 earthquake off of the coast of Cuba early in the morning. Happily mother earth wasn’t quaking in Haiti. I tried to call Robert to let him know as this might alleviate some of his fear. Sadly, the telephone lines cooed indicating no service at this time.

Fear runs through the blood of all Haitians. The schools of Port-au-Prince will be closed for months if not years. Schools were slowly beginning to re-open in the northern part of Haiti during my recent visit. Parents are still afraid to send their kids to school because the building may collapse. Rumors are abundant that the government is going to send someone the check every school to ensure its safety. My heart has doubts but my tongue did not speak this reality to my Haitian brothers and sisters.
Madame, one of the maternal figures in Robert’s life, told us the about the hourly reports after the earthquake stating that a Tsunami was coming. Everyone packed their bags to flee. She showed us her “sachet” (a small plastic shopping bag with knots tied where holes had developed) filled with crumpled papers including a few Gourdes (Haitian money) that she had collected when our Tap Tap was running.
Madame is a portly lady with a smile that lights up a room. You always hear her voice bellowing when you enter her home as she is the matriarch of the clan that resides with her. I chuckled when she showed me how she intended to grab her “sachet” and run into the street to flee from the giant wave. Madame nearly cried when I provided her with a more durable sachet upon my departure from Haiti. Her tears quickly turned to laughter as I imitated her demonstration of her departure into the street.
Fear is part of daily life in Haiti. Most Haitians cope with the unknown with a profound faith in God’s protection and love. Many Haitians are sustained by the powers of the ancient African traditions of voodoo. My heart always questions how these sweet souls can sustain their strength with hope amidst the challenges that face them minute by minute every day of their lives. Somehow, when the sun rises in the sky, Haitians rise from their slumber to face the next challenge with dignity and grace.

Observations from Haiti

Greetings and Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I have continued my transition back into life in America including my return to work and a routine that includes daily exercise and modern convenience. Every time I return from Haiti, I am changed. It is a phenomenon that is difficult to describe, but my soul clings to the lessons I have learned from my experiences.

This week I have been listening to the dialogues of friends, family, co-workers, patients and strangers. I find myself drifting into thought as I enjoy the conveniences of living in the “first world”. While we Americans move about challenged in our own way, it seems as though we could learn many lessons from our fellow Haitians. I made a point during my recent trip to observe Haitian women. Women walk miles from their country village with a huge vessel on their head filled with local crops or sweets to sell on the streets. These women are poised as they gracefully maneuver the terrain of fallen roads. I have never seen a Haitian woman drop this load from her head. They have mastered the idea of what we physical therapists call “core strength” and “balance”. I have helped lift the load these women carry and I would guess it could be as much as 40 pounds…lifted from the ground to the top of their head and within seconds she is walking down the road calling out what items she has for sale.

I watched the women prepare food in a room with a dirt floor. Charcoal is placed in a small metal container and set on fire. Pans of various configurations are used. These women cook together for hours to create flavorful food. The process to prepare food for our anniversary celebration began at about 4 am with a trip to the market guided by kerosene lanterns. The sun came up and beat down on them as the kitchen area has no roof. The women use a small bucket tied to a rope to pull water up from the well. There was no electric or gas stoves or a sink with disposal. There was not refrigerator to keep things cool or stored-only small areas of shade are reserved for their cooling effect. There was an old wooden table used for cutting up food. An amazing spread of chicken, rice and beans, three or four salads, macaroni au gratin and popcorn were served at about 7:30 pm.

At any point in the day there were about 13 women and girls who participated in this process. They laughed and chatted and embraced one another throughout the day. The matriarch we call Madame barked out orders while the younger women and girls all diligently completed their assigned tasks. The women didn’t seem to feel bothered by the immensity of their task. They gathered together with a sense of community grateful to have the food that Robert and I provided to create food to be shared by family and friends.

The gathering for the meal began with singing and prayer. A toast was made to Robert and I by Madame’s son wishing us 500 years of happiness together. Robert and I were given the first china plates piled with food. Everyone else had plastic plates with modest servings.

Today I stand in my modern kitchen with a beautifully tiled floor, gas stove and oven, microwave, refrigerator and running water for my every whim and my mind travels back to Haiti. I stand in awe of all my Haitian sisters. Their simplicity and community offers me lessons for reflection.

Until next time, may you remember to celebrate the gifts that surround you each and every day.

Charlotte

Re-entry

I returned from Haiti yesterday. Robert will remain for four more weeks. My return home was fairly typical-I got a cold the day before I left, so I was feeling a bit under the weather. The Haitians had moved my name to an earlier flight but didn’t bother to tell me, so there was lots of confusion. We always call to confirm our flight our but the lines had been busy for 2 days prior so there was no getting confirmation. Fortunately, I arrived two hours before my previously scheduled departure so I was able to negotiate my return.

The airport in Cap Haitien has improved with a functioning, relatively clean toilet but lacks creature comforts of modern airports, so it was a pretty miserable 5 hours of waiting and wondering. You are never given any information about the status of your flight. Passports are checked no less than a dozen times as the airlines are fined thousands of dollars for delivering passengers from Haiti with false passports. Haitians grow anxious and weary with the process. Sad but true, white Americans are given preferential treatment at the airport, so I was confident I would get out eventually. I found out from the flight crew that the plane was delayed as it was diverted to pick up people in Guantanamo Bay.

I arrived in Ft. Lauderdale to the comforts of an American hotel. All I could think about was eating a green salad. I ordered a Cobb salad from a local restaurant and had it delivered to my room by a young Haitian man (yes, I did say a young Haitian man). It seems the universe is aware of transition. I savored this ginormous salad with cool crisp lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, chicken, and flavorful crumbles of blue cheese. I have never appreciated the crispness of a fresh mushroom like I did that evening.

I awakened early the next morning, exhausted and trekked to the airport. I reflected upon my last return trip from Haiti, where I was so sick, I thought I might die…that was the longest journey of my life. This time a runny nose and headache seemed so cliché. I arrived home to find our house in tact only in need of a little yard work. The car battery was dead, but I had AAA to rescue me. I went to the post office to pick up the mail and there was only a line of three people standing in an orderly fashion.

I walked around the neighborhood and enjoyed the local early signs of spring. Re-entry into this life is always a process. The hundreds of emails, piles of mail, dozens of phone calls and laundry can only be dealt with in piecemeal . There is a paralysis that lacks words for description. My senses are keen for nature. My heart is torn between gratitude for the exquisite shelter that I call home and the guilt I feel for acquisition and gluttony. My stomach takes in little nourishment as I am mindful of those I have left behind.

Haiti is country that feeds my soul and breaks my heart. I will continue to blog over the next few days and weeks with the remainder of our experiences, observations and photos as we had limited opportunity for internet access in Haiti. I will also provide you with updates as I receive them from my beloved Robert. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers as he continues his journey in Haiti.

Love and hugs,
Charlotte

Ampil Lapil

It is raining a lot!

We haven't gotten an update on the conditions in Port-au-Prince, but imagine that it is terrible for the people living in the streets.

Wednesday, March 3 was our fifth wedding anniversary. We went the Batey where Robert has the house by the sea. This area is impoverished. Shelters are often made of corrugated cardboard and perhaps a tin roof if they are lucky. The floors are dirt (actually mud during the rainy season). When we enter the Batey, it is as if the pied piper has arrived. Robert carries his boom box blasting music and he is accompanied by a "Blah" (white person). I often describe myself as a Q-tip walking the streets in Haiti. We purchased small packages of cookies to give the kids. Unfortunately, the distribution turned into a fight. Small children with hungry bellies anxious to receive a treat. My heart breaks to see such poverty and feel so helpless.

We also found another orphanage constructed and run by some adults that grew up in Haiti as orphans. All of the orphanages in the northern part of Haiti have been affected by the earthquake in Port-au-Prince as many of the orphans have been moved here. We made a donation to support the amazing effort of these orphans trying to make a difference in their country.

We gave money to our family so that we could have a party to celebrate our anniversary. The women cooked all day to prepare a delicious feast. The cook on charcoal in an open area they use for cooking, washing the clothes, bathing and various other activities. All of the family put on their "Sunday best" and celebrated our 5th anniversary with us. The best part was that we were able to feed about 50 people with a lot of nutritious food for less than $100 US. We had music to dance, toasts to champagne and lots of fun.

Thursday, we decided to head to the Dominican Republic. We traveled via Tap Tap (21 people crammed in a 12 passenger van, motorcycle (Charlotte sandwiched between the driver and Robert), taxi (7 people in a Honda Civic) and guagua (24 people luggage in a 16 passenger van) from Cap Haitian to Sosua. Sosua is the place where Robert and I met 13 years ago. There are many Haitians here who have come to make a better life. The Dominican Republic is a very poor country, but there are many signs of economic growth and increased opportunity for improved life here. Perhaps it is all an illusion creating a bigger gap between those that are rich and those that are poor. Robert lived here for over 10 years and is still known by many. Several of his friends have passed away. As we walk the streets, everyone asks for food, so we changed some money into Dominican pesos to give out to our Haitian friends struggling here.

We will spend a couple of days here and then return to Cap Haitien for a few days before I will return to the US. Upon our return to Haiti, we are going to serve a meal in the Batey by the sea to all of the children living there.

Please send positive energy and prayer for the Haitians in Port-au-Prince living in the street. The rains are heavy here now. Those people need shelter.

It's raining

Hello,

On Tuesday, we traveled to an area outside of Milot where Robert's papa and aunt live. We visit our garden where we found Papa (81 years old) toiling away in the hot sun. Robert was greeted by everyone within a mile. All so happy to see him and eager for any gifts that may be presented. We spent most of the day here and we chose to hand out the cards made by Aleesha and Hunter with some money to the children. Everyone was so excited that children in America were thinking of them. The conditions of living are really beyond words. Our family is always so excited to see us.

We traveled from Cap Haitien via TapTap (a small truck that carries about 8-12 people with an assundry of supplies on top of the roof. We had picked up 2 sacks of 125 pounds of rice and oil for our family. They were very excited to receive the gifts of food. It was extremely hot but they make every accomodation to make us comfortable in the shade.

We visited our garden and ate oranges off of the tree. They were sweet, fragrant and refreshing. We also visited some other land behind Papa's house filled with sugar cane (behind a distillery that makes clarin-a potent Haitien alcoholic beverage).

After our visit, we went to see the house by the sea which is actually in the sea. Robert had a strong foundation built to support this structure. The neighbor did not and their house was washed away by the waves. The house has sustained some damage from the ocean waves, so no one is currently living there.

During my travels to Haiti, I always become overwhelmed by the stimulation. Mind you, the stimulation is very different here. The road to travel is like four-wheeling. People are swarming everywhere. It is blazing hot and humid. The poverty is palpable. The daily struggle is only about one thing...survival. Our evening discussions are often about the wonderment of survival these souls endure.

We are on a limited connection, so I will fill you in on the other days and events when we can access a computer again. Thank you for continuing to keep us in thoughts and prayers. We walk this land with humble hearts.

Godspeed,
Charlotte and Robert

Arrived in Haiti

Robert and i arrived in Cap Haitien late Sunday afternoon. Our plane was delayed out of Ft. Lauderdale because the airline is having difficulty obtaining fuel. One of our bags didn't make it with us, so we will have to try to track that down (always an adventure). Chi Chi met us at the airport. Other than looking very thin, he seems healthy and certainly happy to see us arrive in Haiti. Robert looked at several hotels which have declined in their cleanliness. It also seems that numerous people have moved to this city from Port au Prince because of the lack of sustainable living in PAP. We ended up coming to a beautiful hotel called Hotel Residencial which is owned by Robert's cousins. The are building a beautiful hotel on a mountain and we are happy to support their endeavors.

Madame generously allowed us to stay at her home last night and she has been preparing delicious Haitian cuisine to nourish our bodies.

The roads are terrible...I think the worst we have experienced in a long long time. We ventured to Robert's birthplace today, Grande Riviere du Nord. By asking many people, we discovered that one of his mother's sisters had passed away. By the grace of God and Goddess, we found one if his aunts. Her name is Wilite Celestin. She is blind and a bit confused, but after some coaxing, she realized that the son of her sister Cecile had come to see her. She lives in a less than humble structure and the neighbors provide food for her when they are able to share. We purchased enough food for her to be able to eat for about 6 months. She was so grateful as she sang to her Jesus and her deceased sister.

As we ventured back toward Cap Haitien, we stopped at Orphelina de Petite-Anse (an orphanage). We spent some time speaking with the director. He told us that they have about 64 children that they care for in meager surroundings. Once the children become 18,they are moved to a different location where they are still supported, but they learn life skills to eventually take care of themselves. Additionally, we were told that they have taken some children from Port-au-Prince and that they have about 3 to 5 requests to take additional children everyday. We made a donation to help this orphanage provide food and school for these kids.

We made a brief stop to visit our granddaughter Rose Berline Laneau. Oh she is a cutie pie and most certainly stole the heart of her grandfather. We gave her mama some money to buy milk and we will make a huge delivery of clothing later this week.

Our next stop was at another relative's family. They are struggling to make ends meet and have helped with our Tap Tap in the past, so we left them with some rice, oil, manteca, tomato sauce so they can feed their family for about one month.

Finally, as we were walking back to Madame's when we met some young hungry boys, so Robert gave them each some money to get something to eat. They kissed the money and sang "Merci Jesus".

Robert and I feel honored to be able to help people living a life of struggle. The gratitude extends to all ends of the universe...a Haitian tradition of giving with your left hand allows you to receive abundantly with your right hand. All of our family and friends in the USA will hopefully feel the light that we have surrounding us.

We will continue to try to make a post when we are able to access the internet. Photos will be posted later. Na we pita.