Fear

The phone rang early at 5:07 am on Sunday morning. Startled I reached for the phone. Robert was on the line to inform me that another earthquake struck in Northern Haiti. I heard the journalist blaring in Kreyol on the radio in the background…one building collapsed killing numerous people.

The fear swelled in Robert’s voice. My mind went racing through all the things to tell him. First, as always, I told him how much I love him. Then, knowing our phone connection would be brief we discussed strategies for survival in an earthquake and the importance of establishing a plan to meet up with Chi Chi. The line faded and once again, like so many times in our relationship over the past 13 years, I felt helpless.

I was lying on my comfortable bed snuggled in under a mound of warm blankets with the protection of a roof and walls surrounding me. I could feel the pitter patter of my heart as I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe and held an image of my beloved Robert with protective light surrounding him. The comfort of the light allowed me to fall back asleep until 7:03 am.

I drug myself out of bed, sleepy eyed with blonde hairs standing up everywhere on my head, to donn the cozy slippers Robert bought me for Christmas and slip on a sweatshirt. I moved within the comforts of our blessed abode to search for news on the internet. Prior to the earthquake, I would have been skeptical to find anything, but now little Haiti will receive press if the news is deemed to have a human interest component.

I discovered that there was a 4.8 earthquake off of the coast of Cuba early in the morning. Happily mother earth wasn’t quaking in Haiti. I tried to call Robert to let him know as this might alleviate some of his fear. Sadly, the telephone lines cooed indicating no service at this time.

Fear runs through the blood of all Haitians. The schools of Port-au-Prince will be closed for months if not years. Schools were slowly beginning to re-open in the northern part of Haiti during my recent visit. Parents are still afraid to send their kids to school because the building may collapse. Rumors are abundant that the government is going to send someone the check every school to ensure its safety. My heart has doubts but my tongue did not speak this reality to my Haitian brothers and sisters.
Madame, one of the maternal figures in Robert’s life, told us the about the hourly reports after the earthquake stating that a Tsunami was coming. Everyone packed their bags to flee. She showed us her “sachet” (a small plastic shopping bag with knots tied where holes had developed) filled with crumpled papers including a few Gourdes (Haitian money) that she had collected when our Tap Tap was running.
Madame is a portly lady with a smile that lights up a room. You always hear her voice bellowing when you enter her home as she is the matriarch of the clan that resides with her. I chuckled when she showed me how she intended to grab her “sachet” and run into the street to flee from the giant wave. Madame nearly cried when I provided her with a more durable sachet upon my departure from Haiti. Her tears quickly turned to laughter as I imitated her demonstration of her departure into the street.
Fear is part of daily life in Haiti. Most Haitians cope with the unknown with a profound faith in God’s protection and love. Many Haitians are sustained by the powers of the ancient African traditions of voodoo. My heart always questions how these sweet souls can sustain their strength with hope amidst the challenges that face them minute by minute every day of their lives. Somehow, when the sun rises in the sky, Haitians rise from their slumber to face the next challenge with dignity and grace.