Sunday, May 9, 2010

Robert is back

Soledad O'Brien did a wonderful piece for CNN called "Rescued". She focuses on the orphanages in Haiti.

Robert returned to the USA about 3 weeks ago. There is always a complicated period of re-entry. The ups and downs filled with emotions challenge us both. He appears to be adapting in his efforts to figure out what is next for him in this journey.

Haiti appears to have fallen out of the limelight. Conditions are reportedly challenging. We are grateful to have consistent communications via telephone. Our Haitian family never drifts far from thought and prayer.

We are sailing back in the sea of immigration as we try to bring Chi Chi here. Please holds us in thought as we navigate the bureaucracy.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Call to action

The rains are falling. There is mud. Illness is brewing in the sludge. My heart aches. My mind wanders. My soul cries. My optimism for the future of the Haitian people holds on by thin thread of light.

At a recent social gathering, I heard a woman discussing the plight of Haiti. My ears tuned in to the conversation from across the room. The words that rolled off of her tongue drew me to her. She said, “The situation in Haiti is God’s test for THOSE people to understand his strength.” I picked up my chin off of the floor and sauntered into her physical space. I posed a simple question, “Have you been to Haiti?” As you might imagine this expert on God’s redeeming wisdom replied sheepishly, “no”. I pondered for a moment asking for wisdom, grace and dignity as the voice of my Haitian family. I stood tall and said, “I have been blessed with many opportunities to visit Haiti. I consider myself a spiritual person connected to powers beyond my humanity. There is no benevolent deity within my human consciousness that would test humans walking this earth with the living hell that surrounds my Haitian brothers and sisters.” With eyes larger than the plate she held in her hand, she tipped her glass for a gulp of wine and excused herself to the “ladies room”.

Handicap International declined to offer me the 6 week volunteer position that I pursued after the earthquake. In the wee hours of the morning, Gregory, with his French accent, expressed his enthusiasm about the contents of my curriculum vitae. He continued to explain that I didn’t have enough “international disaster experience” and that HI is focusing efforts to place therapists willing to serve in Haiti for six months or more. Disappointed, I have faith that things manifest for a reason and patience provides the wisdom of understanding. When the time is right another opportunity will sail into my consciousness.

I started hearing fatigue in Robert’s voice last week. During our last conversation on Sunday, he said, “Sweetie, I am tired. I miss you and I want to come home.” That statement is the bittersweet symbolism that has filled my beloved Robert’s life. He is calling Spirit Mountain in Sacramento home, but I know his heart will ache when he boards the plane as he leaves behind Chi Chi…Rose Berline…Papa…Sonja…Madame… and many other relatives and friends. I pray for Robert to be surrounded by light and know that he is loved. His re-entry into life in the USA will certainly require a period of adjustment.

A dear friend of mine posed a question about Haiti recently via email. “What do you think about NGOs, non-profits and then all those I read about who do relief efforts outside of them. Do you think there is a place for all approaches or should relief be distributed through large non-profits only?” Hopefully my words share my perspective on this very complex question.

The echoes of Haitian voices fill my head. The Haitian people yearn for the leadership of their elected government. My limited perspective tells me that the US government and the United Nations (call MINISTAH by Haitians) believe the Haitian government needs to be involved in the recovery of their country. The challenge is that the Haitian government currently lacks a voice and it is apparent the government is not able to stand up and lead. Haitians express a frank distrust of MINISTAH based on the events bound in their historical occupation. Haitians are chronically aware of the corruption that exists within their limited governmental structure.

There is amazing work happening in Haiti by individuals, NGOs, small and large non-profits. The challenge is that there doesn’t appear to be any coordination of these valiant efforts. Some organization is evident between individuals and groups but there doesn’t appear to be a centralized effort to distribute resources in a coordinated and meaningful way. This lack of leadership is one of the major differences between the aftermath of the Haitian disaster and the devastating earthquake in Chile.

Haiti was the first country of predominately black people to establish its independence in 1804, a time when slavery of people indigenous to Africa was the norm. Haitian history demonstrates how money, power and greed steal the hope of humanity. Natural disasters have contributed to the downward spiraling struggle of Haiti. The reality is that the mother earth shook this little island nation’s humanitarian struggle into the world view.

I believe there needs to be an entity that is willing to step up and coordinate the efforts of all the individuals and organizations diligently working in Haiti. A partnership with the Haitian government with clear expectations and accountability for their active participation is crucial for the future of Haiti. There are differing opinions about whether this entity should be the United States or the United Nations.

One thing I know for certain, time is of the essence. Mother earth continues to shake, her skies are crying, her mud is sliding and her seas are swelling. The rainy season in Haiti coincides with the hurricane season. The Haitian spirit is strong but lack of shelter, food, and clean water will take the lives of thousands. Thoughts and prayers are powerful, but the Haitian people need advocates to demand a rapid coordination of efforts.

If you strip away the complexities that bind Haiti to its identity as the poorest country in the western hemisphere, there is a profound story that tells the tale of our human interconnectedness. Our Haitian brothers and sisters need to borrow our voices to sing songs demanding action. We can participate in our governmental process and ask our leaders to facilitate this action. If we choose to make donations to organizations or individuals working in Haiti, we should inquire about how their efforts are being coordinated to support the Haitian people. There is not one simple idea or solution to this humanitarian tragedy, but collectively each of our actions will support the greater good.

And with that I will sign off for now.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Fear


The phone rang early at 5:07 am on Sunday morning. Startled I reached for the phone. Robert was on the line to inform me that another earthquake struck in Northern Haiti. I heard the journalist blaring in Kreyol on the radio in the background…one building collapsed killing numerous people.

The fear swelled in Robert’s voice. My mind went racing through all the things to tell him. First, as always, I told him how much I love him. Then, knowing our phone connection would be brief we discussed strategies for survival in an earthquake and the importance of establishing a plan to meet up with Chi Chi. The line faded and once again, like so many times in our relationship over the past 13 years, I felt helpless.

I was lying on my comfortable bed snuggled in under a mound of warm blankets with the protection of a roof and walls surrounding me. I could feel the pitter patter of my heart as I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe and held an image of my beloved Robert with protective light surrounding him. The comfort of the light allowed me to fall back asleep until 7:03 am.

I drug myself out of bed, sleepy eyed with blonde hairs standing up everywhere on my head, to donn the cozy slippers Robert bought me for Christmas and slip on a sweatshirt. I moved within the comforts of our blessed abode to search for news on the internet. Prior to the earthquake, I would have been skeptical to find anything, but now little Haiti will receive press if the news is deemed to have a human interest component.

I discovered that there was a 4.8 earthquake off of the coast of Cuba early in the morning. Happily mother earth wasn’t quaking in Haiti. I tried to call Robert to let him know as this might alleviate some of his fear. Sadly, the telephone lines cooed indicating no service at this time.

Fear runs through the blood of all Haitians. The schools of Port-au-Prince will be closed for months if not years. Schools were slowly beginning to re-open in the northern part of Haiti during my recent visit. Parents are still afraid to send their kids to school because the building may collapse. Rumors are abundant that the government is going to send someone the check every school to ensure its safety. My heart has doubts but my tongue did not speak this reality to my Haitian brothers and sisters.
Madame, one of the maternal figures in Robert’s life, told us the about the hourly reports after the earthquake stating that a Tsunami was coming. Everyone packed their bags to flee. She showed us her “sachet” (a small plastic shopping bag with knots tied where holes had developed) filled with crumpled papers including a few Gourdes (Haitian money) that she had collected when our Tap Tap was running.
Madame is a portly lady with a smile that lights up a room. You always hear her voice bellowing when you enter her home as she is the matriarch of the clan that resides with her. I chuckled when she showed me how she intended to grab her “sachet” and run into the street to flee from the giant wave. Madame nearly cried when I provided her with a more durable sachet upon my departure from Haiti. Her tears quickly turned to laughter as I imitated her demonstration of her departure into the street.
Fear is part of daily life in Haiti. Most Haitians cope with the unknown with a profound faith in God’s protection and love. Many Haitians are sustained by the powers of the ancient African traditions of voodoo. My heart always questions how these sweet souls can sustain their strength with hope amidst the challenges that face them minute by minute every day of their lives. Somehow, when the sun rises in the sky, Haitians rise from their slumber to face the next challenge with dignity and grace.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Observations from Haiti


Greetings and Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I have continued my transition back into life in America including my return to work and a routine that includes daily exercise and modern convenience. Every time I return from Haiti, I am changed. It is a phenomenon that is difficult to describe, but my soul clings to the lessons I have learned from my experiences.

This week I have been listening to the dialogues of friends, family, co-workers, patients and strangers. I find myself drifting into thought as I enjoy the conveniences of living in the “first world”. While we Americans move about challenged in our own way, it seems as though we could learn many lessons from our fellow Haitians. I made a point during my recent trip to observe Haitian women. Women walk miles from their country village with a huge vessel on their head filled with local crops or sweets to sell on the streets. These women are poised as they gracefully maneuver the terrain of fallen roads. I have never seen a Haitian woman drop this load from her head. They have mastered the idea of what we physical therapists call “core strength” and “balance”. I have helped lift the load these women carry and I would guess it could be as much as 40 pounds…lifted from the ground to the top of their head and within seconds she is walking down the road calling out what items she has for sale.

I watched the women prepare food in a room with a dirt floor. Charcoal is placed in a small metal container and set on fire. Pans of various configurations are used. These women cook together for hours to create flavorful food. The process to prepare food for our anniversary celebration began at about 4 am with a trip to the market guided by kerosene lanterns. The sun came up and beat down on them as the kitchen area has no roof. The women use a small bucket tied to a rope to pull water up from the well. There was no electric or gas stoves or a sink with disposal. There was not refrigerator to keep things cool or stored-only small areas of shade are reserved for their cooling effect. There was an old wooden table used for cutting up food. An amazing spread of chicken, rice and beans, three or four salads, macaroni au gratin and popcorn were served at about 7:30 pm.

At any point in the day there were about 13 women and girls who participated in this process. They laughed and chatted and embraced one another throughout the day. The matriarch we call Madame barked out orders while the younger women and girls all diligently completed their assigned tasks. The women didn’t seem to feel bothered by the immensity of their task. They gathered together with a sense of community grateful to have the food that Robert and I provided to create food to be shared by family and friends.

The gathering for the meal began with singing and prayer. A toast was made to Robert and I by Madame’s son wishing us 500 years of happiness together. Robert and I were given the first china plates piled with food. Everyone else had plastic plates with modest servings.

Today I stand in my modern kitchen with a beautifully tiled floor, gas stove and oven, microwave, refrigerator and running water for my every whim and my mind travels back to Haiti. I stand in awe of all my Haitian sisters. Their simplicity and community offers me lessons for reflection.

Until next time, may you remember to celebrate the gifts that surround you each and every day.

Charlotte

Friday, March 12, 2010

Re-entry

I returned from Haiti yesterday. Robert will remain for four more weeks. My return home was fairly typical-I got a cold the day before I left, so I was feeling a bit under the weather. The Haitians had moved my name to an earlier flight but didn’t bother to tell me, so there was lots of confusion. We always call to confirm our flight our but the lines had been busy for 2 days prior so there was no getting confirmation. Fortunately, I arrived two hours before my previously scheduled departure so I was able to negotiate my return.

The airport in Cap Haitien has improved with a functioning, relatively clean toilet but lacks creature comforts of modern airports, so it was a pretty miserable 5 hours of waiting and wondering. You are never given any information about the status of your flight. Passports are checked no less than a dozen times as the airlines are fined thousands of dollars for delivering passengers from Haiti with false passports. Haitians grow anxious and weary with the process. Sad but true, white Americans are given preferential treatment at the airport, so I was confident I would get out eventually. I found out from the flight crew that the plane was delayed as it was diverted to pick up people in Guantanamo Bay.

I arrived in Ft. Lauderdale to the comforts of an American hotel. All I could think about was eating a green salad. I ordered a Cobb salad from a local restaurant and had it delivered to my room by a young Haitian man (yes, I did say a young Haitian man). It seems the universe is aware of transition. I savored this ginormous salad with cool crisp lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, chicken, and flavorful crumbles of blue cheese. I have never appreciated the crispness of a fresh mushroom like I did that evening.

I awakened early the next morning, exhausted and trekked to the airport. I reflected upon my last return trip from Haiti, where I was so sick, I thought I might die…that was the longest journey of my life. This time a runny nose and headache seemed so cliché. I arrived home to find our house in tact only in need of a little yard work. The car battery was dead, but I had AAA to rescue me. I went to the post office to pick up the mail and there was only a line of three people standing in an orderly fashion.

I walked around the neighborhood and enjoyed the local early signs of spring. Re-entry into this life is always a process. The hundreds of emails, piles of mail, dozens of phone calls and laundry can only be dealt with in piecemeal . There is a paralysis that lacks words for description. My senses are keen for nature. My heart is torn between gratitude for the exquisite shelter that I call home and the guilt I feel for acquisition and gluttony. My stomach takes in little nourishment as I am mindful of those I have left behind.

Haiti is country that feeds my soul and breaks my heart. I will continue to blog over the next few days and weeks with the remainder of our experiences, observations and photos as we had limited opportunity for internet access in Haiti. I will also provide you with updates as I receive them from my beloved Robert. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers as he continues his journey in Haiti.

Love and hugs,
Charlotte

Friday, March 5, 2010

Ampil Lapil

It is raining a lot!

We haven't gotten an update on the conditions in Port-au-Prince, but imagine that it is terrible for the people living in the streets.

Wednesday, March 3 was our fifth wedding anniversary. We went the Batey where Robert has the house by the sea. This area is impoverished. Shelters are often made of corrugated cardboard and perhaps a tin roof if they are lucky. The floors are dirt (actually mud during the rainy season). When we enter the Batey, it is as if the pied piper has arrived. Robert carries his boom box blasting music and he is accompanied by a "Blah" (white person). I often describe myself as a Q-tip walking the streets in Haiti. We purchased small packages of cookies to give the kids. Unfortunately, the distribution turned into a fight. Small children with hungry bellies anxious to receive a treat. My heart breaks to see such poverty and feel so helpless.

We also found another orphanage constructed and run by some adults that grew up in Haiti as orphans. All of the orphanages in the northern part of Haiti have been affected by the earthquake in Port-au-Prince as many of the orphans have been moved here. We made a donation to support the amazing effort of these orphans trying to make a difference in their country.

We gave money to our family so that we could have a party to celebrate our anniversary. The women cooked all day to prepare a delicious feast. The cook on charcoal in an open area they use for cooking, washing the clothes, bathing and various other activities. All of the family put on their "Sunday best" and celebrated our 5th anniversary with us. The best part was that we were able to feed about 50 people with a lot of nutritious food for less than $100 US. We had music to dance, toasts to champagne and lots of fun.

Thursday, we decided to head to the Dominican Republic. We traveled via Tap Tap (21 people crammed in a 12 passenger van, motorcycle (Charlotte sandwiched between the driver and Robert), taxi (7 people in a Honda Civic) and guagua (24 people luggage in a 16 passenger van) from Cap Haitian to Sosua. Sosua is the place where Robert and I met 13 years ago. There are many Haitians here who have come to make a better life. The Dominican Republic is a very poor country, but there are many signs of economic growth and increased opportunity for improved life here. Perhaps it is all an illusion creating a bigger gap between those that are rich and those that are poor. Robert lived here for over 10 years and is still known by many. Several of his friends have passed away. As we walk the streets, everyone asks for food, so we changed some money into Dominican pesos to give out to our Haitian friends struggling here.

We will spend a couple of days here and then return to Cap Haitien for a few days before I will return to the US. Upon our return to Haiti, we are going to serve a meal in the Batey by the sea to all of the children living there.

Please send positive energy and prayer for the Haitians in Port-au-Prince living in the street. The rains are heavy here now. Those people need shelter.